Hello, again. I'm still unemployed. All the interviews and promise of stability came up to... nothing. I've had a slow depressing week. I was busy soaking in my pool of failures and realising that, all of my friends, well, people who I consider as friends, are moving along with their life. It felt lonely. As though, my life had just stopped moving. As though everyone but myself were progressing. Some nights, or days, I would catch myself feeling totally lost, lonely, deserted. Like I had nobody and that nobody needed me. I would just lock myself in the room and cry. It's suffocating. Some would say that sometimes a conversation or a helping hand works wonders, but really, how can you speak of loneliness without coming off as someone who is just needy and self absorbed, especially someone like me. There's always someone who is literally more lonely than I, who is less fortunate than I. Everyone's got their own life, their own problems to deal with. What makes mine so important that people have to use their precious time to accommodate my loneliness. Why do I desire such attention, such glory. Really, why do I aim so high? Because of recognition? Nope, i really just want to feel accomplished. I want to feel better, more superior, even though I know that I didn't work half as hard as everyone else did. I want to feel gifted. Special. I don't believe that I deserve it, but I want it. I really want it. I don't want to settle for anything less. I am unhappy, but i'd rather be unhappy chasing my goals than be unhappy settling.